To the One Who’s Still Watching from the Back Row

An open letter to the ones who feel unseen, unheard, and unsure they still belong.

Chris McKinney

Jun 17, 2025

Dear Friend in the Back Row,

You slipped in quietly.
Maybe you always do.

You’re not avoiding God… not exactly. You just don’t want to be seen right now.

Or touched. Or called out. Or asked to “come up front.”
Not after what you’ve been through.

And while others lift their hands, or cry, or dance — you just sit.

From the back row, it feels safer to observe than engage.
Safer to listen than to hope again.

But can I tell you something?

God sees you.

He’s not waiting for you to prove something.
He’s not disappointed that you’re not “more spiritual” or “more involved.”
He sees the fact that you’re still showing up.
Even when it hurts.
Even when it’s complicated.
Even when it’s not clear why you’re still there.

And He calls that faith.

You’re not broken for sitting in the back.

Sometimes the loudest worship is the person who still came when they didn’t feel like it.
Sometimes the bravest act is just being in the room.

You’re not invisible.
You’re not in the way.
You’re not less than the ones on stage or the ones in the front row.

Jesus didn’t only show up for the crowds — He walked to the margins.
To the woman at the well.
To the man living in the tombs.
To the tax collector hiding in a tree.

He always sees the one trying not to be seen.

You haven’t missed your moment.

Maybe you used to be all-in.
Volunteering. Leading. Raising your hands like you meant it.

But something happened.
You got hurt.
You burned out.
You drifted.
Or maybe someone told you that you no longer belonged.

Now, church feels… different.
Like something you used to know, but can’t quite access anymore.

Can I say this as plainly as I know how?

You’re not disqualified.

Not from grace.
Not from purpose.
Not from the presence of God.

There’s space for slow returns.

You don’t have to rush back into the spotlight.
You don’t have to recreate a version of who you used to be.

Jesus never rushed people into healing.
He walked with them.
He listened.
He touched the untouchable.
He waited for them to speak — even if all they had was a whisper.

Take your time.
Take your questions.
Just don’t stop showing up.

Your faith doesn’t have to look like theirs.

Some people jump. Some cry. Some sit in stillness and breathe deeply.
It all counts.

God isn’t grading your performance.
He’s after your heart.
And your mustard seed of faith? He can do more with that than you could imagine.

“A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench.”
(Isaiah 42:3)

That flicker you feel — it’s not failing. It’s surviving.
And that’s holy.

There’s a reason you’re still here.

You might think you’re barely hanging on.
But I see something different.

I see someone still hoping, even if they don’t call it that.
Someone who still believes there’s more.
Deep down, someone who wants to feel again and trust again wants to come back.

That desire? It didn’t come from you.
That’s the Spirit.
Drawing you.
Calling you.
Not to perform, but to be loved.

God’s not done with you.

Not now. Not ever.

You’re not too late.
You’re not too far.
You’re not too anything.

The same Jesus who welcomed Thomas with his doubts and Peter with his failure is the same Jesus waiting for you.

He doesn’t need you to jump through hoops.
He’s not looking for polished.
He’s looking for honest.

And here you are — sitting in the back row, maybe not even sure what you believe anymore.
But you came.

That’s enough for today.

He’ll meet you there.

You are not forgotten.

God sees you.
I see you.
And there’s a seat for you — not just in the church but in the Kingdom.

Take the next step.
Even if it’s slow.
Even if it’s quiet.

You don’t have to leap.
You just have to lean.

We’ll be right here — waiting, praying, believing with you.

-Pastor Chris

Hey, before you go…

I’ve been working on a new post that is a deep dive into the topic of prayer. It is a guide for those who have questions or need encouragement. Prayer is such an essential part of our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Even Jesus prayed.

A Guide to Prayer: Everything You Need for a Stronger, Simpler Prayer Life